I’ve been thinking about death lately and I am unsure why. I think to myself, am I ready to die? My soul will live on and there is no question as to where it is that I am going. But am I willing to give up everything to live with my Creator? I am young and there are many things that I still long to do. I long to get married, I long to experience “the wedding night”, I long to have children, I long to have grandchildren, I long to experience the joy and even trials of child rearing, etc. It saddens me to think of me no longer being on this earth, but if it is God’s will then He has a reason, which I will not know. When I ask myself, am I ready to die? I instantly say, “Yes!” but then I begin to think of the people whom I love and everyone that know who I am. They will be saddened by my death and I do not want to see them cry and regret the things that never happened or did happen. I am not trying to be morbid and I am not thinking about suicide; however it would not be the first. I just wonder … and I think … not knowing the future or the time that I have left on this earth makes me want to make the most of my life, stop everything and serve God completely. I know it may sound silly, but there are times when I do not make God number one in my life. I have bills to pay, people to please, and I even struggle with my own selfishness. I know I can serve God at work, but it is extremely difficult when I work in a secular atmosphere. Lately, I believe that the enemy is trying to get me to fall and he is using my job as a crutch. But I am trying to stand firm against the tricks and fiery arrows aimed at me by the evil one (Ephesians 6:10-20). I know that I can serve God by serving others, but sometimes I think I do too much serving (if that is even possible). I begin to feel burnt out and frustrated. I get frustrated when I feel like people are taking me for granted or using me, which in result causes me to feel burnt out. I struggle with my own selfishness by putting my own wants before other people, wanting to do things for pleasure, and not wanting to make sacrifices… the list goes on and on. But what if I were to die in my sleep, in a car accident, in a house that caught on fire, or even in a freak accident? Would my time on this earth be well spent? Did I miss any opportunities for outreach? Would I meet God at the pearly gates and hear Him say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”?